Knäckehäxan!

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 15:05:41 GMT

Valentines Day is freaking cold!
That's all

cockass!

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 13:50:43 GMT

Indiana Department of Transportation just sprayed my car with about a billion gallons of salt water! Who prepares the freeway for ice at 75 mph?! 'Hi, look at my shiny yellow tank truck cruising down the road. Surprise! Let me dump half the Atlantic on you.'

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 13:38:45 GMT

They say that nerve gas smells like garlic. I wonder what deadly chemical, whose cloud I just drove through, smells like mushrooms fried in butter?

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 13:01:58 GMT

I need a CrackBerry intervention.

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 03:28:23 GMT

By the way, hot tub is fixed. (Thanks Brian for taking me to Lowes for supplies)
Saturday night(ish) after painting. Clothing optional.

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 03:18:24 GMT

It's like 11:17PM. Sara is sleeping and I'm awake trying to come up with a good excuse to avoid driving to Lafayette tomorrow. Although I probably should, just to check the mail at my bachelor pad.

I'm Winston Wolfe. I solve problems.

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 14:51:41 GMT

I should be working on claims but my head is spinning from to many attorneys calling me this morning.

Remember in Pulp Fiction when they accidentally shoot the guy in the head and need someone to clean up their mess? Well it seems I have been made "The Wolf" of insurance claims. If it's something someone else f-ed up, if it's nasty, sticky, smelling and potentially can get us in to A LOT of trouble they send it to me.
Thanks, don't do me any favors.

"Get it straight buster - I'm not here to say please, I'm here to tell you what to do and if self-preservation is an instinct you possess you'd better fucking do it and do it quick! I'm here to help - if my help's not appreciated then lotsa luck, gentlemen."

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 15:53:44 GMT

I've got nothing exciting to post.

Thu, 17 May 2007 12:34:37 GMT

I'm driving through Decatur, IN when I see this sign on a Days Inn hotel. "The Only American Owned Hotel In Decatur!".
I haven't been able to decide yet, is that good cause people want to support "american" businesses or is it bad cause you look like a racist bastard?

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 12:33:49 GMT

I'm on my way to Chicago for a surprise training they sprung on us yesterday. 12 hours of driving to attend a 1.5 hour training and mingle with my co-workers at a "pizza social". Good times.

For the last uhm hour and a half now I've been sitting stuck in traffic on I70 westbound, some accident outside of Spiceland. And now some jackass just plowed in to the stopped cars at the back of this traffic jam. All emergency vehicles pulled out to go there which now means nobody is working the accident up front and we're stuck between two accidents. This day is going to suck hardcore.

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 12:46:07 GMT

Some guy in England gave his girl a new beach front home for Valentines Day. Personally I was stuck in Chicago and got to talk to Sara on the phone while she was driving to work, and I had strict orders this year not to order flowers and stuff. So Happy Valentines Day baby, I'll be home Friday.

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 14:52:57 GMT

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Thu, 11 Jan 2007 13:39:36 GMT

So like every other semi decent hotel out there my room has a bathroom. Toilet, sink, shower and a door to close to keep any unpleasant odors out, or in. The bathroom in my room has an added feature, the door locks itself if you close the door from the outside.
First time it happened I called the front desk, they told me they'd send an "engineer" up. The "engineer" was a janitor with a screwdriver, he opened the door for me and told me not to close it again.

Of course this wasn't good enough for me and after about 3 seconds of investigation I figured out that the genius who installed the little rubber stop that prevents the door from slamming in to the wall when you open it, had put the thing right by the door handle. You open the door and the rubber stop presses the button that locks the door, you close the door and you're SOL, unless you're an engineer and have access to a screwdriver.

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 14:51:34 GMT

In the first 30 minutes of work today I paid out close to $164,000.00. There should be a limit of payments you can do in a day. When you reach say 100k you should just get to go home. If that was the case, in the last year I've paid out enough money to take the rest of my life off.

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 14:13:49 GMT

Embassy Suites in Lombard, IL bragged about how they catered to the business traveler. Then how come the room doesn't have a desk, I have to pay $9.95 per day for the internet and the whole hotel is PACKED with kids who run around screaming and playing in the elevators?

There should be a mechanism that opens a hatch in the elevator floor if you PRESS EVERY SINGLE DAMNED BUTTON!!!!!

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 14:24:40 GMT

Yeah yeah, I know I'm posting like 30 seconds after my last post but whatever.
We're getting a new roof today right, the crew is here and they are currently tearing off the old roof. I've seen it done a billion times before but I've never been inside the house when it's happening.

HOLY HELL! It sounds like the entire Lord of the Dance team is up there busting out some mad river dance. I'll be surprised if one of these guys doesn't end up in our living room before the end of the day!

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 14:11:40 GMT

Caribbean cruise with VIP treatment, butler, champagne and new friends = good.
End of cruise back in Columbus with 32 degrees, responsibilities and work = bad

Doing a good job taking care of business in Chicago = good.
New guy hired in Chicago quitting after 1 hour = bad.
Being offered the job in Chicago = good.

No we're not moving to Chicago. If I take the job I'll end up getting a house in the windy city and week commute back and forth. Can you say airline miles?

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 13:37:28 GMT

8 mother loving degrees in Chicago today, that with the windchill is like 400 below. That's cold even with Swedish standards. Come to think of it, I think the address where I'm staying is somewhere between Antarctica and the dark side of the moon.

Biloxi never had days like this, then again Biloxi smelled like feces and sucked in general. I'll stick with the fortress of solitude anytime.

OMGWTFBBQHAX SNOW!

Fri, 01 Dec 2006 13:59:23 GMT

Chicago got hit with snow last night. Not like that is a new concept for the people in Chicagoland but apparently it's custom up here (like everywhere else in the US it seems) to freak out when the weather gets a little worse than 70 degrees and sunshine.

The roads were empty. The office parking lot? Yup it's empty too. Obviously the office is empty, not many people walk to work. Only place that is packed is the hotel lobby, all the flights are canceled so people are hanging out hoping for a new flight to open up.

Big gurtz to Chicago.

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 15:13:35 GMT

29 degrees(that's just below 0 Celsius for you Swedes) and rain today. First time EVER that I'm actually happy to be in an office and not out in the field driving around. Then again, like an agent told me, I'm up to my ass in crocodiles and they have sharp teeth.

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 17:02:01 GMT

I have nothing fun to write about. I'm back in Chicago after Thanksgiving.
Actually I do have a funny story, it's about Emma. Here goes.

So Emma is really social all the time with everyone right. Well the other day we're out walking and stop to talk to a neighbor. Emma refuses to even say hi, just looks away. So we chat for a while and we're walking off and I ask Emma if she's going to say bye. Not a word. About 100 yards out she goes "Byeeee!" and proceeds to telling me "I said bye". So I ask her "I know baby but you didn't talk at all before, why?" She looks away and says "I'm grumpy!!"

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 13:56:25 GMT

Remember Biloxi? I have on good authority that it still sucks. Since my glorious 3 weeks there in 05 I have not been back to the marvelous state of Mississippi and I'm happy about that.
Most recently I visited the All American City of Buffalo NY. Now the area I was assigned to work was well, let's just say it used to be very hip in 1972, it's in the inner city and 50% of the houses are boarded up. Very all american indeed.
Now throw in a whole bunch of water, flood some basements filled with junk and chain a ferocious dog beast thing in front of the house and you have every single house I visited. All 88 of them.

I fondly look back on sitting parked in front of a house working a claim, seeing about 50 cars in an hour pull up to a house a few houses down, passenger got out, ran behind a fence, came back to the car and left. I'm glad the "owner" of that house didn't file a claim.

Do you also remember how I made some comments about being stuck in an office in Gainesville several months back? I'm in an office in Chicago now, trying to dig myself through a mess of work that was left behind by a guy who quit. There is NO information to go on and tons of people calling every day asking where their money is. It's great!

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 12:23:29 GMT

What do I do for a living? Catastrophe Property Claims Adjuster.

What happened in Columbus last week? A metric asston of hail tore up a bunch of homes.

What company is headquartered in Columbus? The company I work for.

Is it likely that there might be a catastrophe response to Columbus? Yes.

Where are they sending me after my time off? Cincinnati.

What am I doing in Cincinnati? Helping the local adjusters who are swamped with work.

Why are the local adjusters swamped? Cause they sent a couple of them to Columbus to WORK HAIL CLAIMS!!

DOH!!!!

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 12:33:37 GMT

Celtic Lacrosse. I drove by a sign in a stripmall with that written. Celtic Lacrosse. I should have stopped.

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 11:30:59 GMT

I'm in Virginia and under threat of being fired if I don't work my ass off I'm working my ass off. I rolled in Sunday, I leave Sunday and I calculate by that time I will have clocked about 1500 miles driving around the country side down here, I feel like a trucker.